At time you must meditate, be calm, contimplate your life- where you've been/who you were/who you wanted to become, where you are now/who you are now/where to go from here, who will you
become, has any of what you wanted be changed and is different from what you want now, have you accomplished anything you wanted to do. so many questions, life is constantly going and our mind and bodies are trying to keep up with it. In contrast, you must take action, be motivated, accomplish goals. You can not always sit there are say you are going to do it, you must just do it. life is a balance. One of the only words of wisdom my foremore employer said to me was, "you can't have all play and no work just like you can't have all work and no play." I know he's not the first person to say this phrase but he was the first one to say it to me.
The point... Everything in life is about balance... the ying-yang.... it's in what you think and believe along with how you behave.
And as someone else once told me: "Everything in moderation... even moderation"

Take what you will of this garbage

Oscar Wilde, Henry David Thoreau, Walt Whitman, Friedrich Nietzsche, Albert Einstein, + many more

All these people know what we know, they were all just trying to connect everything together.

I have decided I need to go somewhere in exile and connect the dots as well. I want to explain all my thoughts, theories, and opinions so they are not babble, becaue I feel I have just as good enlightment for modern day thought as they had in their time. There is so much to be said about so many things but if I do produce something to my standards as a masterpiece of knowledge more than likely it will be revoked and ridiculed. It will be critized, undermined and not understood to its full capacity.

At this point I feel I am really living in the present and the only thing holding me back is the uncertainty of the future. I'd rather concore my fears then live a life hating myself for the chances that past by. Courage is the most noble of all emotions.

people grow and learn from their experiences. i feel right now the lack there of. people go around blaming everything and everyone, but themselves. when we're in a rut, how many of us actually look for a solution and follow through with that decision? instead many of us just get bitter toward others, but mostly we're just mad at ourselves for not doing what we truely feel like doing. basically, that there is no one to blame but ourselves. i could be happy, i could change my life completely, so what keeps me from doing that? i like to think its the same question asked in waking life, is it fear or laziness. i think its a little of both. which leads me to another point. people try to band things so others don't abuse it, or they set high standards that everyone should live by. why not just have a balance in life. everything in your life should have a balance. this i feel like i can not go into explaination, you know what i mean. not too much, not too little. when we are getting too much or not enough of things and that balance is altered is when we get unhappy. maybe depression and these other psychoanalysis aren't biological, but rather lack of control in their lives and an unbalance in their environment instead. people focusing on what they should be rather than what they body and soul is telling them they should be, following one's heart and dreams, doing what feels right and following intuition. these things are ignored. what is rational should account for these ideas instead of excluding them. i don't know. im just saying that people are unhappy because of their own decisions and i dont want to become one of them. right now i feel like i could end up there. making the best of any situation helps, but truely doing what makes you happy is almost what life is worth living for. for me that would be doing and learning as much as i can. i want to travel, meet people everywhere, keep intouch with the real people i meet no matter how disconnected we may get, i want to try new things from simplistic to extreme, i want to really understand my self and get to know my loved one's around me because life is about the interactions we have with others, i want to do whatever it is whenever it is as long as it is my own decision and not based or dictated by anyone else. i dont know how else to say it. my vocabulary can't formulate my thoughts so i hope if you are reading this, you haven't given up in confussion.

im a beginner

So, where should I begin. Theres alot to say but none of it really makes sense, its all babblingggg
well, my life right now, actually for a while, has been chaotic. my 1st priority is school. I love school, I love learning new things, meeting new people, the only thing I DONT like is stupid pointless hw and attendance. if the expectations for these two things weren't so high, I might be a better student. I want to understand the material and put it in my own perspective without having to memorize someone else's point of view on it. I like knowing the facts and building new ideas off those facts, not letting them anchor me down.
On top of that I work 4 days out of the week, babysitting 3 days out of the week, see my mom if im lucky 3-4 days out of the week, if im lucky I see my dad 1 day a week, and typically i see mark 5-6 days out of the week. I know where my priorities are and i know they're not in the right place. Why is it so hard for use humans to stop focusing on the little things are focus more on the big picture? For me, the big picture is.....
learning, exploring, through experience
challenges come and you must learn to overcome them
family and good friends (real friends) will always be there, but are not to be taken for granted and need just as much love as they show you even if they dont ask for it in return.
ultimately, there is an overal balance between everything in life, nothing is absolute
time is but one instant that has always been and will always continue, yet through its constance there is change every single day
it is important to be truely happy, alot of people mistake this with a false happiness, but true happiness doesn't leave you feeling empty inside
anybody can change anything
fear and laziness truely are the most disadvantaging characteristics of the human race

I say this all so that maybe one day i stop the talking and start doing
A new priority list is in order