people grow and learn from their experiences. i feel right now the lack there of. people go around blaming everything and everyone, but themselves. when we're in a rut, how many of us actually look for a solution and follow through with that decision? instead many of us just get bitter toward others, but mostly we're just mad at ourselves for not doing what we truely feel like doing. basically, that there is no one to blame but ourselves. i could be happy, i could change my life completely, so what keeps me from doing that? i like to think its the same question asked in waking life, is it fear or laziness. i think its a little of both. which leads me to another point. people try to band things so others don't abuse it, or they set high standards that everyone should live by. why not just have a balance in life. everything in your life should have a balance. this i feel like i can not go into explaination, you know what i mean. not too much, not too little. when we are getting too much or not enough of things and that balance is altered is when we get unhappy. maybe depression and these other psychoanalysis aren't biological, but rather lack of control in their lives and an unbalance in their environment instead. people focusing on what they should be rather than what they body and soul is telling them they should be, following one's heart and dreams, doing what feels right and following intuition. these things are ignored. what is rational should account for these ideas instead of excluding them. i don't know. im just saying that people are unhappy because of their own decisions and i dont want to become one of them. right now i feel like i could end up there. making the best of any situation helps, but truely doing what makes you happy is almost what life is worth living for. for me that would be doing and learning as much as i can. i want to travel, meet people everywhere, keep intouch with the real people i meet no matter how disconnected we may get, i want to try new things from simplistic to extreme, i want to really understand my self and get to know my loved one's around me because life is about the interactions we have with others, i want to do whatever it is whenever it is as long as it is my own decision and not based or dictated by anyone else. i dont know how else to say it. my vocabulary can't formulate my thoughts so i hope if you are reading this, you haven't given up in confussion.